Wednesday, March 8, 2017

catching up to move on.

 Whew. It's been far too long since I last much as I have missed sharing my heart & happenings in our lives, it's been a much needed unintended break. You see, when I started this blog nearly 7 years ago, it was a place to share about our family of 4, embarking on something that would mold, grow & change our family in ways I never could've imagined. Adoption was an easy decision when we decided to grow our family. It wasn't something we had to pray about for months or even years, as we just knew God had imprinted this desire in us so many years prior. I had decided to call this blog, "Leap of Love" & a leap it was/has been. A wonderful one at times, beautiful in so many ways, yet heartwrenching as well. But, God has been so, so good. He has extended so much grace, forgiveness & showered us with so, so much love. He's a good, good God. Whether the path has been straight & narrow or valley upon valley, I can firmly say that I now know God in a way that I never knew was possible for me. So, rewind a few years back, when life as we knew it fell apart....a child that we had prayed for, dreamt of, loved, cherished & fought for, left our home & family. I've typed & re-typed that now about 7 times. 4 years with him in our hearts, home & family & just like that, in our complete, utter desperation, we signed papers to place him for adoption. It still makes me weep. Obviously, this decision didn't come easy nor did we take it lightly. It was a tumultuous few years...doctors, therapists, therapy, medications, intensive treatment etc... I'm not sure what has been more difficult...enduring those 4 years with him in our home, or these past 2 1/2 years. I still count all of my chicks & we are always missing one. As the days go by, we pray & hope for continued healing, grace, love & forgiveness, for him & us. And, I can say confidently, I know it will come. Because, Gods good like that.  Psalms 36:5  Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.

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