control.

Aaaaahhhh....so many thoughts, emotions, feelings swirling through my head today & in the last few weeks, or months I guess you could say!! As I was listening to the songs I have on our HHM-Africa website, I noticed something. Something that I tend to struggle with. Control. Actually, as I listened, in a couple of the songs, control is a pretty common word.. I'm a planner. an organizer. I like to prepare in advance, yet spontaneous at times. I like to "think" I know what our lives might look like in a year from now, 5 yrs, 10 yrs... Control. Like JJ Heller's Song, "Control"...it's time to let it go. Because, after all...although I wish I knew what my days ahead would be like, the what-if's, might-be's, the only thing I CAN control is how closely & intimately I am following the Lord. I feel like I fail so many times in this way. Yes, I set aside time during my day for my daily "Jesus Calling," each night before the kids go to bed we read through their "Jesus Calling Bible Storybook," we talk about our days, each naming our high & low for the day. Feelings, thoughts, worries, the good, the bad...everything from our day is laid out before one another. Each night when I go to bed I feel so thankful for the blessings that have been poured over us, yet thankful for the challenges/trials too...because in those times, our faith has grown tremendously. Not sure exactly where I was going with all of this, but feeling like I had to get it out...hoping to let go of the control & grasp more of HIM in my times of doubt, fear, struggles.